


The Best of Me Belongs To You

by yellow_canary



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fall Aesthetics, Unhappy Ending, WE COULD HAVE HAD IT ALL
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-11
Updated: 2018-09-11
Packaged: 2019-07-11 03:24:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15963671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yellow_canary/pseuds/yellow_canary
Summary: The four times Nyssa saw Sara and the one time she greeted her.





	The Best of Me Belongs To You

**Author's Note:**

> updated with better grammar and slight changes.

Nyssa walks down the aisle in search of a new tea kettle. The old one had collected rust after spending the majority of its time on the stove holding tea she would never drink. Somehow, she has ended up in the home décor section. Her boots click on the floor as she carries her basket in the crook of her arm.

There was a swish and the hairs on the back her neck stood up as she felt the air brush past her move apart by the knife that flies through it. She hears it land and looks to see to it embedded in a cutting board on the next aisle over.

“What have I told you about playing with merchandise?” a harsh male voice criticizes the thrower.

Nyssa looks to see Sara turn towards the store manager with a disgruntled look. She wears jeans and a store issue shirt with her long blond hair swaying around her shoulders. She looks good, although she doesn’t look happy. There’s a pain in her heart, one that is as familiar to her as breathing. The manager says something and Nyssa can see the murderous glare in Sara's eyes. She wonders if the effects of the pit still torture Sara.

She stands there frozen in time as she watches Sara scowl at her manager. Sara gives him a tight smile and walks away, but not before flipping him the bird. She wants to go to Sara had a little voice inside tells her that Sara may not be happy to see her. Especially, if her soul still aches for the murders of the Pit's desires. The event that Nyssa begged to stop, and the guilt she still cares for the part she played in torturing her beloved's soul.

* * *

 

Nyssa had just finished her latest novel and in a fit of rage had gone back to the library in the midst of a rainstorm just to return the book. Now, she attempted to find something else to satisfy her. The novel, although praised by critics, had a cathartic tone that had not been well played by the author. Leading her to be disappointed and yearning for a more satisfying story.

The peace and warmth of the old building, along with the browned tones had calmed her as the smell of old books surrounded her senses. As she picked up an ancient novel she caught a flash of blonde hair in between the crack in the shelf that sent her heart into her throat.

Sara sat at one of the oak tables mulling over several books and papers. Nyssa walks to the end of the aisle and peeks around the corner. There were a number of tables set up at the library for students and others to study at, but they were all empty save for the one Sara is using. She could see many papers Sara had spread out and the various books she had stacked around her. She is deep in her studies and writing in her notebook, a look of concentration on her features. One Nyssa had seen many nights before as she taught Sara her language and as the studied other things.

However, these were not subjects Nyssa had studied before. The stack of books next to Sara were about aerospace engineering and flight as well as astronomy and history. Curiosity got the best of her as she considered approaching Sara and inquiring about the reason for her study.

While once again that little thought intruded into her mind, saying that Sara was better off without the pain Nyssa had brought to her life. Every time Nyssa had entered her life it had ended in only in heartbreak for both of them, but this time they were free of the service and expectations of others.

She contemplated her position and almost lost herself when she caught Sara's blonde hair flicked over her shoulder. Sara whips around in an attempt to catch her. Nyssa quickly sidestepped behind the shelf as she heard Sara get up and races towards the aisle, but by the time she reaches it, Nyssa is long gone.

* * *

 

This time she had drawn the short straw, literally. Thea had held them both between her fingers in an attempt to settle the argument of who should venture out into the cold fall weather, for takeout. A welcome change from their usual microwaved meals. She goes up to the podium at the restaurant and gives the manager the fake to name placed under their order.

The lowlights and red décor mirror the fall evening outside the windows. Nyssa looks around for a place to sit and wait when a short brunet woman brushes past her. She pulled along a tall man with a sunny smile whom she vaguely recognizes as he mutters an apology. Her eyes follow the happy couple as they go to their table. A party full of several other people takes up the center of the restaurant but Nyssa easily picks out Sara’s face in the crowd. She’s smiling at them as they greet her and sit down across from her.

There is an empty seat next to her and Nyssa thinks about how easily she could fill it, but would Sara even want her there? There’s a familiar ache and her heart like a whole tearing open. A deep longing. Nyssa watches the party as they laugh and talk sipping red wine and eating the bread on the tables.

A clap of thunder catches her attention as a rumble through the air. The party doesn’t notice they continue on with their merry dinner. The manager called her name and hands over the bag of hot food. Nyssa can see the steam come up through the paper boxes. She takes one last look at the group and Sara's beautiful smile. The genuine and true happiness that radiates from her. She can’t ruin that, she thinks. Sara deserves happiness more than she does. She turns away and walks out the door of the restaurant into the wet, cold streets of the city, layered with golden leaves.

* * *

 

She happens upon it, walking around the corner in the park towards the fountain. She sees the couple straight ahead of her. She had been out taking a walk to cool her head. It seems that sharing an apartment with two all but teenagers still slaves to their hormones had taken its toll on her sanity. She ran out of the apartment they had been staying in, grabbing only a coat and her gray hat.

They are locked in a kiss, Sara leaning up on her toes as the other blonde ducks down to reach her lips. Sara’s got a grip on the other woman's gray jacket collar holding onto her to keep herself steady. She used to do that to Nyssa, she used to run her fingers along her lapel and cling to it with a death grip. Nyssa touches her collarbone as if she could still feel Sara's hands there.

Her first thought is that it should be her, it should be her kissing Sara. It should be her head ducking down to reach Sara's lips, but it’s not and Nyssa can barely stand to see it. She thinks she should feel jealous, instead, she just feels a longing for her beautiful yellow bird.

Sara pulls away with a smile across her face mirroring the one on the woman before her and drops back down onto her heels. She straightens the other woman’s shirt as she pulls Sara in closer to her. She whispers something in Sara's ear that makes her laugh, the sound echoing through the park. That beautiful sound sends Nyssa falling in love with her all over again. Sending Sara tumbling down into her heart, but it wasn’t meant for her. She knows now if Sara were to look over and catch her, she would see only pain on her face. Nyssa steps back once, then twice, till she turns and runs in the other direction. Now she feels the jealousy in her heart.

* * *

 

“I don’t want to go,” Nyssa insists.

“Oh come on, you’ll have lots of fun,” Thea says. “It’s for Felicity remember. It’s her first Hanukkah without Oliver and I want to be there for her.”

The idea of spending the entire night enjoying Felicity's and everyone else's company without having to see Oliver entices her very much so. Despite how the thought of potentially running into Sara overwhelms her senses.

“When are you gonna do Nyssa? Celebrate Hanukkah all by yourself in this crappy apartment?” Roy asks, knowing she would attend just to spit him. They have a very good relationship. Though it was more teasing than anything, he was the little brother she never had.

She was also looking forward to having the night off and not being around others her own age. Thea and Roy were wonderful, but despite their shared agenda, they were both at different stages in their lives.

"Alright," she agrees.

* * *

 

 

“Hey,” Felicity greets them with an eager smile and a warm hug as she ushers them into her home.

There was a fire going in the hearth and blue and white decorations adorned the brick walls. Felicity and Thea quickly got swept into a conversation as Nyssa hung back, admiring the apartment. She wanders around towards the kitchen before she catches Sara’s familiar warm smile. She’s wrapped around the arm of the blonde Nyssa saw at the park. She turns to walk away from them, but before she can still take a step Sara recognizes her.

“Nyssa.” She calls out, her name sweet on Sara's lips.

“Hello, Sara,” she says trying to be polite. When she turns around and looks at her, Nyssa sees a kind of softness in her eyes.

“It's good to see you, Felicity mentioned that you were traveling with Thea and Roy to destroy the other Lazarus pits.”

Nyssa nodded, “they also told me of your time traveling adventures. It must be exciting.”

There’s a kind of heaviness that sets in the air between them as they gaze into each other’s eyes. The woman that is attached to Sara’s hip looks between the two of them.

“I’m Ava Sharpe, Sara’s fiancé,” she says holding her free hand out to Nyssa.

Before Nyssa can shake her hand, Thea bounds over having heard Ava’s introduction. She squeals with Sara as they embrace each other in an excited hug.

“I heard someone’s engaged,” Thea sang.

“Yeah, Sara show her,” Ava said, holding up Sara’s hand, to display the ring on her finger. It's certainly extravagant with several large diamonds in an intricate display. Something Nyssa knew Sara never wanted. Not in their lifetime at least.

“So Ava, Felicity said that you work for some sort of time agency?”

“Yes, the Time Bureau…” Ava said as she begins to explain her work.

Nyssa lets her eyes fall down into left, a silent signal to Sara. Who takes her cue and untangles herself from Ava. They walk towards the pantry and away from the crowd as Nyssa puts her hand on Sara's back, knowing that she would lean into her and Sara caves to Nyssa's touch.

‘I’ve missed you’ or ‘you look good’ are some of the things she expects Sara to say. However, once they're alone in the pantry, Sara turns to lean against the counter across from her and says.

“I’m so proud of you. For standing up to your father and Merlyn, for dismantling the League, and destroying the Lazarus Pit. You've ventured out on your own and created your own path in life. It’s everything I could have wanted for you.”

Sara smiled is soft and the weight of her words surprises Nyssa. She stares back at Sara with heavy eyes, grateful for her prase, but her instincts are always to be modest.

“I’m simply doing what is best," she says.

Sara gives a little chuckle and Nyssa wants to wrap this moment up in a bottle. If only so she could keep the feeling and the sound of Sara’s laugh forever.

“And what of you? I have heard of some of your adventures but none of the details,” Nyssa says, yearning to hear of Sara's life.

“I’m a time traveler now and the captain to a crew of misfits. Recently we’ve been battling a few demons. Things somehow get messed up a lot, but I like to think we fix things more than we break them.”

Sara seems to shine as she describes her work and Nyssa can see that it is her true calling.

“I’m glad you are happy with your work and with Ava as well." The first part fell naturally off her tongue, but the latter set of words she must force herself to say.

“Yeah Ava and I are happy,” Sara says nodding her head eagerly and fiddling with her ring. “Are you happy? Do you have someone? I didn’t see anyone else with you tonight.”

“There is no one else in my life,” she says ‘only you’ she thought. “But I am happy, very much so.”

“That’s great,” Sara says nodding, drumming her fingers on her clutch.

“Yes,” Nyssa agrees too quickly.

Every cell in her body screams ‘go to her! Kiss her, pulled her into your arms and never let go'! Surely Sara must see the longing on her face and the way Nyssa’s body aches for her.

“There you are,” Ava says, walking into the pantry breaking their moment. “Did you two had enough time to get caught up?”

Ava plants herself next to Sara and wraps an arm around her. Ava leaned down to give her a kiss, but Sara turns away resigning Ava to kiss her cheek.

“Yes,” Nyssa says, eager to leave. “I think I’ll go find Felicity and see if she requires any assistance.”

Then she does something she’s never done before. While walking away Nyssa turns to look back at her. Sara's lips are parted and there’s a look of longing in her eyes, one that Nyssa knows all too well. Against her better judgment, she leaves Sara in the pantry. She knows Sara will be happy with Ava, she has seen it and she can find someone else to love. Although, in that moment, it seems she will never truly love anyone else.

* * *

 

“Why didn’t you tell her how you feel?” Thea yells on the car ride home, questioning her from the passenger set. “You could have swept her off her feet and taken her away.”

“Not everything is a fairytale, little Queen.”

Thea rolls her eyes but continued, “didn’t you see the way she was looking at you. She still loves you.”

“She said she was happy and she is engaged to another. I will not force her to choose.”

“Nyssa she’s lying. Can't you see, she wants you, she…”

“Thea, enough!” Nyssa snaps, gripping the steering wheel till her knuckles turn white.

Nyssa studies the road before her and the rainfall across it. The leaves from fall sit decaying on the roadside as winter sets in. She knows she will never be with Sara. No matter how much she longs for her, no matter how much she is jealous, no matter how happy she and Sara could be.


End file.
